Thank You
by L. C. Johnson
Summary: As Sakura stands in front of Sasuke ready to kill him, they both know she's keeping their promise. Manga spoilers


_Thank You_

Part of me really wanted to love Naruto. And I do love him, but I'm not in love with him. I tried, when he came back from training with Jiriaya to fall in love with him. He's attractive in a way. He got taller and muscled out, as boys are prone to do; his hair found a balance between too messy and sexily-disheveled and although I'd never noticed before his eyes were very pretty. They would light up and laugh and being around him made me feel so happy and comfortable. He was sweet and caring and someday he'd probably make a wonderful father. I could be completely myself around him and he would love me unconditionally; no second-guessing, no nervousness, no expectations. He would be perfect.

I could feel myself slipping into thinking I could be in love with him for a little while. One day I even wanted to kiss him. I didn't though, because as I visualized grabbing his hand and turning around to face him and leaning up toward him, my eyes closing and my lips puckering, I saw Sasuke. Picturing Sasuke I could feel that pang at the bottom of my heart and realized I didn't feel that for Naruto…And Naruto deserved someone who would.

A few weeks later when Naruto seemed to have finally noticed Hinata I did feel a little pang, of jealousy, and although it shocked me I wondered if maybe I really could fall in love with Naruto. Maybe I could be as in love with him as I was with Sasuke. And I hated myself for that because it felt so wrong, like I was being unfaithful. But I still felt it.

Of course I also realized that if something horrible happened and we never got Sasuke back, which I hated to consider but knew was a possibility, or he died, I'd end up with Naruto. From the very start, even though I didn't realize it, I could never have been with anyone other than one of them. They were my boys. They both had part of my heart and I didn't have any left to give to anyone else.

So I spent the next few weeks trying to reinforce what I'd been telling myself for the past three years: _You don't even know Sasuke now, you're not in love with him. Little twelve year old girls can't fall in love and even if they could that was a long time ago and you're both different people now, you're in love with a memory. And it was an immature love at that; not real. Besides he never returned that affection even if he did care about you in a way (and he did, right?). You're wasting your heart on him. You should let go of him romantically; you're only interest in him is as a friend and fellow Konoha Nin_.

Naturally all those determined reminders of reality disappeared the moment I set eyes on him. He's beautiful. Cold, dark and obsessed as he is, to me he's still absolutely beautiful. I don't just mean his intense perfectly shaped eyes, his soft looking lips, his shiny hair, his long fingers, his elegant posture…I mean his soul. I can see the beauty inside of him hiding very deep underneath all the hurt and anger and ambition for revenge. I can see the boy that made friends with me on the playground when we were six and I can see the man that little boy wanted to become still hoping he'd get a chance to come out when all this was said and done and over.

And even though I could see all this I could also see the dark avenger. I could see the conflict, the anger the skewed sense of morality that allowed for him to lie and manipulate as long as it was all in the name of his revenge…The only thing I couldn't see was just how far he'd go…

Staring at him with the sunshine framing his figure, jetting off in opposite directions, it was like I was looking at two paths he could follow at that exact moment. I knew which one he would choose…I just didn't know what would be at the end of it. And also in that moment, my heart beating wildly, unable to breath, unable to look away, I realized two things: He would be an avenger, and I would love him anyway, fully accepting the consequences that came with it.

"Sasuke-kun." I breathed out, almost like a question…but there was a promise behind it. I promise that I still felt the same and I wouldn't stop, even if he tried to make me.

"Sak'ra." He said, in a tone that suggested he didn't care, but I knew he'd understood. More than that, I think he was asking me for something back…To do what I wasn't able to do as a child: Love him right; not with silly little ideas about weddings, or by making him lunch, or by following him around…Love him by being for him everything he could not, love him by remembering who he was and not letting him let go of it, like I did before.

He needed me to remember the other part of who he was because he'd buried it so deep he was probably going to entirely lose it. He needed me save him, but not by bringing him back to the village so we could all pretend his life could be normal. He needed me to save him from becoming Itachi and Orochimaru and even Kakashi. He needed me to carry around the last little bit of his heart that still could feel so that I could give it back to him when all of this was over. If he lost himself before then he needed one more thing from me: He needed me to notice so that I could save Naruto.

And I swallowed, accepting this request, not yet fully knowing what it would entail. But I love him. So I had to, no matter the consequences.

Now, months later, I had to keep that silent promise. And it was hard. I wanted to cry. I had cried. I'd cried for days and nights as I realized what I would have to do to love Sasuke right. He'd given up everything good in him. It had hurt him too much for me to keep protecting that little part of his heart he'd given me to keep safe so he let it go. He took the easy way out and finally let himself get lost in hatred. I couldn't protect him anymore because he was gone. My tribute to the boy I'd lost would be to keep the last request he made of me: Save Naruto.

The only way to save Naruto was to kill Sasuke.

Here I stood before him, looking directly into his beautiful haunting grey eyes…Dead eyes. Eyes that didn't see through me where they once could have, because they saw nothing but another obstacle to the twisted path he was spiraling down.

"Sasuke-kun." I said, strong and determined.

"Sak'ra." He whispered, almost like a word he'd forgotten.

I nodded, "Naruto doesn't know."

The corner of his lips jerked up just a little, "You're protecting him."

I held my chin up and pulled on my gloves, "I promised."

He closed his eyes slowly, it meant 'I remember'. When he opened them again they were red and black and still dead.

"I'm protecting you too." The red-haired girl behind him made some indignant noise. I ignored her.

His feet shifted, and so did mine, the earth around us falling victim to our violent and sudden motions. As he came at me, and I came at him, he uttered words I knew would always belong to me:

"Thank you."


End file.
